Hostess - Nettle
July 22, 2005
I am Ingo Finkletoes Beck, brother of Ebenezar Thistledown Beck, cousin of Zelig Evadeam Brokk, and I am a garden gnome.
On a cloudy day, on July, the 21st I arrived in Germany, in Haltern am See/ Sythen Lembraken in front of an old and very shabby house, so I saw through the tiny gaps in the walls of my widely traveled parcel.
I came all the way from America and I was rather fed up with traveling so far, have been thrown around, squeezed, shaken and pushed.
Suffering from severe claustrophobia I was so looking forward to get out of this cardboard cage.
What I saw so far was ok. I had seen worse. The postman carried me, including my baggage to the front door, old and shabby, as I said, but eeeek, to my utmost horror he rang and nobody opened.
He turned around and left again, with me under his arm, not before leaving a note in the letter box for this untrustworthy fellows livin' there.
I screamed and knocked like crazy but my voice seemed muffled through all the layers of paper surrounding me (I had a nice and very enlightening read on my long journey to Germany). Nobody heard me and I was taken back to the post office.
Another lazy day, and lonely night in my cage. Ok, I could re-read the paper once again.
But then, on the next day, I awoke from my dead like coma being tossed and pushed around by a man with a deep voice, who demanded to have ME and take ME home, telling the girl behind the desk (nice legs and veeery short skirt, btw) that I would be his long expected joystick for his flight simulator. Bah! I said, and giggled. He would be rather disappointed to see ME, Ingo the Bingo, I reckoned.
So, when this man saw the addy on the parcel he at once knew, this clever fellah, that the contents of this wonderful surprise wasn't meant for him. He got rather upset, and threw me (together with my papery cage and the additional goodies) in the back of his car, drove about 2 minutes to a place, which I saw through the gaps of my cage walls was that shabby house again, but now I saw a bit of the garden too. Not too bad, I had to admit. As I said, I had seem worse.
He found a woman, his wife I presumed, in the back yard and gave her the parcel, not without complaining about his miserable life, his driving around like a servant collecting things for everybody, and his poor hot feet.
The woman totally ignored the man's rants and ripped the parcel open.
And there was light! The sun!
I raised my arms up high to this woman, a blond, sweet and friendly looking woman in her mid 30s. Ok I lied, but she'll like what I just said about her.
Anyhow, when she saw my arms she squealed and quickly freed me from my dark prison.
Ahhh, freedom. She laughed out loud, seeing me and hugged me tight. I felt at home, at once.
While she was inspecting the additional things in that parcel I was free to stretch my legs and to roam around my new and temporary home. We, the woman and I, we at once knew that we would stay together for a while. Love at first sight, so to speak. Yep, this ol' bearded bloke still got it, after all these years!
| Next: Ingo's Adventures in Germany Continues >>> |